Monday, April 13, 2009

"Music's in my soul"...Thank you Jonas Bros

Wow - I just wrote this long, emotionally raw post, and it disappeared...ouch.

Technology is not my friend. I have this really cool interfacing white board in my classroom called the Smartboard, and it hates me too, so to get it back, I call it the Not So Smartboard. I don't think it's impressed.

In my original post, I typed out all of the lyrics to a whole song, a 5 minute and 10 second long song mind you, so it took quite a bit of time. I think maybe the Lord wants you to listen to it instead of reading it on my page, or maybe He's protecting me from some copyright laws that I am unaware of; either way, I have a link to it later on in this post.

So I was wanting to write a post on the profound meaning of Easter and a little of what has been happening in our lives lately, but I can't find the words, so I am going to borrow others'.

First, let me give you some background. As long as I have been old enough to sing along with Sandy Patty and the Safety Kids (Mom, I think this may have contributed to my hypochondriac tendencies I've come to notice in adulthood), I have been deeply moved by music.

As most of you know, I'm not very forthcoming in the verbal articulation of the stirrings in my soul. I can do it, but it is hard, and to be honest I don't like to force myself to do hard things; I've found that it is fairly easy to do this as an adult (oh wait, except for filing taxes, and filling out work visas - no I haven't completed either of these yet). But I'll leave that particular topic to another post. Music has such an uncanny way of simply putting profound ideas into words, and it moves me.

It says what I am trying to say and don't even realize it.

It evokes longing: Jack Johnson makes me feel like I can't live anywhere but Hawaii and must never wear shoes again; Pat Green makes me ache for Texas until I have to turn off the music or get in a plane and come home.

It time warps you to the past: "Walk Like an Egyptian" transforms me into a five year old in a side pony tail walking apparently like an Egyptian with my dad leading the way; Clay Walker's "This Woman and This Man" takes me back to any middle school dance I ever went to; the entire Coldplay XY album brings back the heartache of dating Taylor long distance.

And it adds a soundtrack to our lives: lately for us it has been Fernando Ortega because, man, that man loves Jesus. (Of course it is also interspersed with Jack Johnson's Sleep Through the Static album and High School Musical 3 - wow, did I just admit that?).

Unfortunately, I only use music and don't contribute to it. I cannot sing and am no poet.

This has been our hardest season ever (understatement), but I am seeing the Lord make beauty out of ashes, and most of it has come from reading (soaking up, bathing in, eating) His promises to us in Scripture and through, you guessed it, music.

I am going to let them help me articulate my thoughts...

The steadfast love of the Lord never ceases;

His mercies never come to an end;

they are new every morning;

great is your faithfulness.

Lamentations 3:22-23

(Does it make anyone else happy that these verses perfectly line up to make a V shape? Anyone? OK, maybe it's just me.)

These verses were my lifeline immediately after our loss. I clung to the promise that His mercy was (is!) new for me every morning because I would have fallen into the depths of despair if it wasn't true. Also, even though He took our daughter home way before we would have chosen, His love never ceases. He didn't allow this to happen out of spite for us or anger toward us - man He is so much bigger, greater, better than we can ever grasp or imagine.

I love how His hand orchestrates everything so beautifully - at our wedding Susannah sang, "He's Always Been Faithful" by Sara Groves (you can listen to it on my playlist - #29) which was inspired by these verses. He knew how I'd cling to this promise so shortly after our wedding.

Most recently this Scripture especially in connection with "I Will Rise" (the song I typed out originally) has resonated.

So we do not lose heart.

Though our outer nature is wasting away,

our inner nature is being renewed day by day.

For this slight (thought it feels massive) affliction

is preparing us for an eternal weight of glory

beyond all comparison,

as we look not to the things that are seen

but to the things that are unseen.

For the things that are seen are transient,

but the things that are unseen are eternal.

2 Corinthians 4:16-18

Because He has conquered death (Rev 1:17-18), because He is risen, we will also rise. (So here it is - "I Will Rise". Listen and be blessed.

Happy Easter,

PS - Sorry for the crazy spacing. This thing has a mind of it's own.


Anonymous said...

yesss jonas brothers! feel free to ask me more titles of their songs. and taylor swift, i am so proud of your playlist! how did you learn how to do this?? i dont understand half the things on these blog websites but anyway since i am so busy all the time, its very comforting to read your blog. its like talking on the phone with you but with much bigger words. and no cheerleading talk. well love you so much and cannot wait to hang out with you this summer.
love, kaitlyn

Anonymous said...

so apparently i am cursed with this technology cripple also. i just wrote out this super long paragraph, perfectly worded and when i clicked post comment, nothing. so hear i go again! what i was saying is JONAS BROTHERS! haha yesss thats what drew me to comment on this particular blog although I have read all of them just fyi. I am so proud of your music playlist! I mean taylor swift way to go, I have many songs over here in case you ever need one. now I have forgotton what I said in the other post shoot. something like how grateful I am for this new blogging thing of yours, since I can never find the time to be on the phone, sucks, but this is just like a phone call with you except we are using bigger words and not talking about cheerleading. well love you sister and can't wait to hang out this summerrrr!
kaitlyn :)

Anonymous said...

hahaha you can pick the comment you like better, i just read the thing that says "your comment will be visible after approval."

The Neffendorf Family said...

Wow. This is my first time to hear this song. I listen as your words.
Our Lord is so worthy. What an amazing blessing to be a child of our loving God.
Also, I must say "Walk Like an Egyptian" transforms me to almost the same place as it does you. That was my very first RECORD you know (wow..SO old!)

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