Wednesday, August 4, 2010

Dread The Shred

So Jillian Michaels is back in my life, and I have mixed feelings about this.

Let me give you some background.
My brother-in-law, Jason, delights in giving crazy challenges to people. They usually involve daring you to do something ridiculous, not telling anyone that your doing it for a dare...ever, and winning an amazing reward (think trip to Hawaii) if you pull it off. I don't think anyone ever has. Though Larry Lampi may get a free college education someday. But that's a story for another time.

Here is a prime example:

Picture 7 clean cut, straight-laced, self respecting business men, and Taylor, the pastor, sitting around a table in Bangalore, India. Low ceilings give it a cozy feel, the smell of curry fills the air, and mismatched "art" dots the wall in an effort to make the restaurant look more "American." All of a sudden Jason spots a gaudily framed poster advertising a Kung Fu movie and mentally taps his fingers together as he inaudibly laughs, "mwahahahaha." He gets everyone's attention and explains the challenge.

"If any of you hangs that Kung Fu poster in the most prominent place in your house, for one year, I will send you and your wife on a two-week vacation, all expenses paid to Maui. The catch is, you can't tell anyone you're doing this for a dare...ever."

Before Taylor can even open his mouth, Jason adds, "excluding Taylor."
When Taylor got back and started telling me about this dare, I got really excited until the last part. We totally would have done this, but I digress...
After hearing about a more recent challenge that Jason issued Susan, I got inspired. You see, I love jeans. Not just any old jeans, but expensive ones. And no, not just because they are expensive. They last a long time (I had my last pair for 4 years before they wore out right before I got pregnant with Seth - can we say good timing;)), they are the most comfortable, and they look the best. I keep trying to explain this to Taylor.
He has a hard time with it.
But his jeans have holes in them, so his opinion isn't very weighty.
So it dawned on me towards the end of my pregnancy that I was going to need a new pair of jeans and that Taylor wouldn't be excited about the price. And so Jason's inspiration comes into play - a challenge! Taylor loves a challenge. This is going to work.
The next day I gingerly broach the subject with him.
"Taylor, my jeans have a rip in them, and I'll really need a good pair for Scotland since jeans are all I wear."
"Yeah, sure," he replies not looking up from The Rise and Fall of the Third Reich.
Now I know that the price I pay for jeans isn't even close to what he'd consider paying, so being the honest wife that I am, I told him how much they would cost. He almost dropped his book. Almost.
"Can't you find jeans cheaper than that, Sweetheart?"
"Yes. I can. But they are ugly. I just had a baby, and I want to be excited about jeans. We are moving to a city that is cold all of the time. All I wear is jeans (hence the rip). I need the expensive ones. And I've thought of a challenge to get them. Wanna hear?"
"OK. If I do the 30 Day Shred for 30 days in a row, can I buy the jeans?"
Sighing, he agrees, "Thirty days in a row, no misses."
And so Jillian Michaels is back in my life. Now if I could only get past level one, it may be worth buying a new pair of jeans.