Little Bits is a...

Healthy baby!  Praise the Lord!

Unfortunately, the ultrasound technician was unable to tell us whether Little Bits is a boy or girl.  I believe her exact words were, "I'd rather not say..."

What?!  I know your next question is when is your next ultrasound?  And the answer in this socialised medical system is never.  So now we're praying about if we are going to pay for an extra ultrasound to get another look.  Taylor was not-so-secretly thrilled that we didn't find out, so time will tell...

But even though I like the suspense and am usually not a planner {insert whiny and ungrateful voice here}, I want to know!  I want to know whether or not I need to bring all of Seth's newborn - 3 month clothes back or if I need to borrow girl clothes from my sister-in-law.

But I also know that the Lord wasn't surprised that this happened.

That maybe I'm supposed to wait even though every practical and selfish bone in my body (and there are many folks) is yearning to know.  As much as this is true, I don't want to go full throttle into "fix it" mode.  Into "getting my way is the right way" mode. Maybe we are supposed to find out soon, and maybe we're not.  All I know for right now is that I'm supposed to wait.

Wait.

Be still before the LORD and wait patiently for him...

Psalm 37:7a

He wants me to stop.  Don't skip over the news that the baby's healthy and go straight to boy or girl.

Stop.

Your baby is healthy. Alive.

Are you grateful?


I know what it's like to come away from the 20 week ultrasound without a healthy baby, so it's not lost on me that my focus has been directed to what I do know about Little Bits.

He is healthy, his heart is beating, his systems are functioning normally.

For this I am thankful.  I don't take it for granted.

But maybe I would have if we had found out the gender.  Maybe my mind would have gone straight to Pottery Barn Kids and the stocking I had picked out for "Jack" or "still haven't agreed on a girl's name yet," or to planning out his birth announcement, or getting ready for her "Sprinkle."  Maybe that is where my heart would be instead of completely grateful for a healthy child, for the dream of a full term birth that ends in taking home a baby instead of leaving empty-handed.  Maybe I wouldn't have stopped to realize how many prayers (especially in 2009) have gone answered, how many promises fulfilled by God to me in the health of this baby.

"Can a woman forget her nursing child, that she should have no compassion on the son of her womb? Even these may forget, yet I will not forget you. Behold, I have engraved you on the palms of my hands; your walls are continually before me..." 

Isaiah 49: 15-16

Behold, children are a heritage from the LORD, the fruit of the womb a reward. Like arrows in the hand of a warrior are the children of one’s youth. Blessed is the man who fills his quiver with them!

Psalm 127:3-5

So we will wait, but the waiting isn't empty, it's full of gratitude to the Lord whose mercy truly is new every morning. Praise Him.

Rejoice always; pray without ceasing; in everything give thanks; for this is God’s will for you in Christ Jesus.

1 Thessalonians 5:17-18